Infant Self Soothing
As a new mother, it’s natural to feel concerned when your baby is fussy or struggling to fall asleep. You may have heard the term self-soothing, but there are many misunderstandings about what this means. Let’s clear things up and help you understand the gentle ways you can guide your baby to self-soothe. This guide will offer comfort, clarity, and actionable steps that can help both you and your baby feel more confident in your sleep routine.1,2
What is Self-Soothing?
Self-soothing is when your baby learns to calm themselves, rather than relying on you every time they cry or get upset. This doesn’t mean “crying it out” or ignoring your baby’s needs—self-soothing is about giving your baby the chance to develop calming skills in a loving and responsive environment.1,2
- Early Signs: Many babies begin to self-soothe as newborns, doing things like sucking their thumb or rubbing their face. Some babies may show these signs earlier, while others may take more time. Both are normal.
- Growing Independence: As they get older, many babies begin to occasionally fall asleep on their own without needing to be held, rocked, or breastfed to sleep.
How to Help Your Baby Self-Soothe
Supporting your baby’s self-soothing efforts is a gradual process for both of you. It’s important to remember that each baby’s development is unique. While some babies may pick up self-soothing early, others may need more time.1,2 That’s perfectly okay! Here are some tips:
- Understand Their Needs: Sometimes, when your baby is fussy, they may be hungry, tired, or in discomfort. Always make sure their basic needs are met—such as feeding, changing, and resting—before introducing soothing techniques.
- Decrease Stimulation: Speak softly, move slowly, and avoid over-stimulating your baby with too much activity.
- Create a Calm Environment: At bedtime, keep the room dim, quiet, and comfortable. You might want to use soft music or white noise to create a soothing atmosphere.
- Develop a Sleep Routine: A calm bedtime routine helps your baby know when it’s time to rest. Try something like a warm bath, reading a story, or gentle rocking. Consistent routines help your baby feel safe and secure, signaling that it’s time to sleep.
Soothing Techniques to Try
Here are some gentle techniques to help your baby learn to self-soothe. Remember, the goal is to help your baby calm with less intervention over time.1,2
- Your Voice: Start by talking, softly singing, or “shushing” your baby. Your calm voice can help them feel comforted.
- Your Touch: Gently pat your baby’s back to soothe them.
- Sucking: After feeding, offer a pacifier for comfort.
- Opportunity: Try letting your baby try to settle on their own for a few minutes before picking them up. Sometimes they might self-soothe and fall asleep with a little more time. If they remain upset or seem distressed, it’s perfectly fine to pick them up and comfort them.
Consistency and Flexibility
Sometimes when babies are fussy, we want to try everything at once to calm them down—rocking, patting, bouncing, and more. However, too much stimulation can overwhelm them.1,2 Here are a few tips:
- One Thing at a Time: Focus on one soothing method for about 5 minutes before trying another. This gives your baby time to process and settle.
- Be Patient: Allow your baby a chance to adjust to a new routine before deciding it’s not working and moving on to something else.
- Stay Consistent: Once you find a method that works, stick with it. Repetition helps your baby learn what to expect.
- Every Baby Is Unique: What works for one baby may not work for another, and what works today may not work tomorrow. Be open to trying different methods and adjusting your approach based on your baby’s needs.
Your Growing Baby
As your baby grows, their needs and abilities change. This means your soothing strategies might need to evolve as well.1,2
- Always Changing: Babies who are older or more active may not respond to the same soothing techniques that worked when they were younger. Be flexible and adjust your methods as needed.
- Growth & Development: As your baby grows, both their physical and emotional needs change. For example, around 6-8 months, babies develop a concept called object permanence, meaning they start to understand that you still exist even if they can’t see you. This may affect how they respond when you leave the room. Be patient as your baby learns that you will always come back.
- Foundation of Trust: Self-soothing is not just about learning to sleep independently—it also plays a vital role in emotional development. Babies begin building trust in their caregivers from a very young age. The more responsive you are to their needs, the more secure and confident they’ll feel, creating a strong foundation of trust that will benefit them throughout their life.
- No One “Perfect” Way: As your baby learns to self-soothe, remember there’s no perfect method. Trust your instincts, be patient with both yourself and your baby, and give yourself grace. The journey may have challenges, but the skills your baby is developing will help them grow into a secure little person, confident in your love and care.
What If I Have Questions?
If you are interested in learning more, these Aeroflow classes expand on some of the topics discussed above:
- Babycare for the Breastfed Baby
- Sleep for the Breastfed Baby
- Moms Circle
To register for these classes, log into your portal or click here.
Want More Info?
For a directory of Aeroflow’s other Care Guides offering information on pregnancy, baby care, and more, browse our comprehensive list of titles:
Our classes and accompanying materials are intended for general education purposes and should not replace medical evaluation or consultation. Please seek advice from your own healthcare providers for individualized recommendations.
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